As students enter their teen and high school years, they also start to enter their first romantic relationships. Romantic relationships are considered an important part of high school coming of age journey and are a signal towards the emotional changes a person goes through from youth to adulthood.
As much as one may think they’re ready for young love or finding a high school sweetheart, building a lasting quality relationship is hard! But we’ve all seen those couples who somehow make it work. Throughout high school, maintaining a strong relationship, while also trying to be smart with their time, hyping each other up, and dreaming big together. It’s like finding a way to let love continue growing even when you’re drowning in school studies and your personal life, but in the end trying your hardest to make the relationship work long term. Hats off to all of those young lovebirds that can make their high school relationship work!
Kenwood student, Morakinyo feels “better communication and openly sharing your feelings”, is important to have any chance at a successful relationship, young or old.
Some relationships only last through the school years but others extend way beyond graduation and aren’t just about young love. It’s about building something for the future together. Kenwood’s Mrs. Bright has known her husband since middle school where they met at chess club. “We met in middle school back in 2001 in a chess club, started dating in college, and we have been together ever since. We’ve been friends for 24 years and dating/engaged/married for 19 years. In a long lasting relationship, you have to accept that there are things about your partner that will not change and learn to love them anyway. You also have to know where your boundaries are and where you cannot or will not change for them and be up front about that. If you can communicate your needs and wants and accept their needs and wants, you can find happiness together,” she shares.
High school is when many people begin exploring romantic interests and sometimes it takes awhile to learn what makes a relationship successful. Mr. Flavin shares, ““I think the most important factor in a relationship is matching temperaments. One’s temperament is what partly shapes our personality. You find out real fast who a person is when something terrible happens, or when there’s great pressure on them, or even when something really good happens. The person I am with now is perfect for me this way. We both flip out about the same things, we both rejoice the same way, and we both have a similar sense of how to manage our lives. The second most important factor is compromise. It’s a simple mathematical equation: every time you add a person to a relationship or household, it gets trickier. Compromise is necessary to resolve issues. Ideally, you compromise before there is a struggle.”
High school is like a crazy amusement park ride so young people are often cautioned against having long term relationships at this time in their lives. But for those that do make it work, it’s like having a best friend by your side at all times. When the ride gets scary, like during exams or drama, you’ve got someone right there who understands you and helps you through it. When the ride is awesome, like getting into college or having good news, you’ve got someone to celebrate with who truly understands how big this is for you. Your partner is someone who makes the whole experience a little less scary and a lot more fun.
But it’s also important to have a life outside the romantic relationship. It’s easy when young and in love to make your life all about the other person but as your older, wise teachers would caution you, “It’s important to have a healthy individual life as well. I go on trips without her, she goes on trips without me, I have my friends, she has her friends, and so on. We do those things individually and we love spending time together,” adds Mr. Flavin.
High school is a time in life when you’re trying to figure out who you are and what you want in life. A good relationship can boost your confidence and encourage you to chase your dreams, celebrate with you when you get something you tried so hard for. A bad relationship though is someone who doubts you, makes you question yourself, drains your energy, makes it harder for you to focus on school and overall makes everything more stressful.
“I think relationships can fail even if they start well because people have different goals and dreams. Sometimes people do not want to compromise on what they want, and their partner has to accept this and end the relationship, or try to adjust and continue it. It doesn’t mean anyone is bad, it means they aren’t compatible,” adds Mrs. Bright.
Navigating the world of teen dating during high school is trying to solve things you didn’t think you would before. Teen dating can be complex, confusing, and often leaves you wondering if you’re doing the right thing. Romance becomes a big part of the high school experience, filled with first dates, feeling awkward, and sometimes heartbreak. But all the chaos that dating also causes it could be used as a valuable lesson, you learn how to communicate better, respect yourself and your partner, and help you realize what you could do better for all future relationships.
Check out our Valentine’s Feature article with Kenwood High Sweethearts Mr and Mrs. Lyon coming later this week!
