Not the Senior Year I Imagined

We’re seniors in high school. This is supposed to be one of our most memorable years yet here we are over halfway through and we’re finishing the monumental time in our lives up at home with no school events with the possibility of prom and graduation unknown at this time.

For some their school is either good or bad. More than not though I imagine it is a little bit of both. It’ nice to get out of this house and away from home for seven hours. I enjoyed the daily distraction of school. As I went through my first three years, I pictured what my senior year would be like. Maybe as the oldest in school I’d open up more and smile more in school. I’d graduate and walk across the stage. Even if it’s just walking across the stage and shaking a hand or two there wasn’t anything I was looking forward to more. Because that handshake meant I did it.

Despite what I enjoyed and looked forward to in school it was a struggle at times because I have anxiety. Basically, I always think and rush myself. I feel people stare at me and whisper about me. I always look unapproachable in school, have my earbuds in so I can’t hear anyone. Was my time in high school great? Not necessarily. Some would maybe even say far from, but it was my escape. My senior year walking across that stage and shaking them hands meant that all those hard years paid off. That simple moment represents so much more to me now that I’m not sure if I’ll get the opportunity to do something that once seemed so simple.

Because Covid-19 stole my senior year. I’m cooped up in the same place with the same people bombarded with school work everyday all while fighting mental health issues with none of the fun stuff that comes with going to school.

This was sadly not an ideal year to be a senior. In the virtual learning environment, students feel they barley interact with their peers and teachers. The loss of our last chance with things like homecoming, sports, and proms is devastating. So much for high school being the best days of our life.

A student’s senior year is supposed to be the most important year in high school to prepare to move out to the real world, whether to attend college, join the military or the workforce. It’s also the final year of the fun of childhood and what better way to celebrate this passage from childhood to adulthood than to participate in school events, but with schools moved to virtual learning because of the pandemic those events haven’t been happening.

Many seniors feel disappointed because they feel like they had their senior year taken away from them after all those years in school. This was to be a year of celebration but it doesn’t feel like there’s much to celebrate in a pandemic and we’re sadly watching our senior year slip by us without getting to be an active participant in the year we waited so long for.